Migraines

At some point I said I would post about my migraines. They suck.

I’ve had migraines since I was 9. I was diagnosed as having “migraine with aura” when I was 10. “With aura” means that I see stuff before I get the migraine. As a kid, it was mostly acid green and bright yellow spots and squiggly lines. Now I rarely see spots and lines. Instead, everything gets shiny, like everything I look at is encased in glass and the sun is hitting it. I have always gotten dizzy before and during my migraines. I get nauseated, but rarely throw up. I’m light sensitive. I have, rarely, blacked out and experienced numbness and immobility (as a teenager).

When I was diagnosed at 10, the doctor actually induced a migraine while I was hooked up to an EEG by flashing a light in my eyes. He was thrilled. I remember him showing my mom the change in the readout and explaining what was going on. I, however, was not excited. Moths balls also tend to trigger my migraines. And the last 2 times I ate pepperoni, I got a migraine and threw up (I was 12). But stress, light, and my period are my biggest triggers.

Doctors don’t know everything about migraines, especially what causes them. There’s a chemical imbalance, but the actual imbalance is different for each person. That’s why you have to figure out what triggers your migraine – foods, sounds, smells, light, stress, etc. But the trigger isn’t the cause. The cause is the imbalance. It’s important to not get those confused. You can avoid all of your triggers and still get migraines. Monitoring triggers simply helps you avoid and predict some of your migraines. They are, however, hereditary and almost everyone in my family has them. Go team!

There’s no test for migraines; the doctor just has to rule out other headache causing problems. I’ve had all the tests, been on all the meds – I could do the physical exam and ask the medical history questions myself by now.

The lack of physical evidence for a migraine makes it a pain in the butt to have. You’re the only one who really knows how bad the pain is or that you’re having pain at all. So some others will unjustly assume that you’re either making it up, causing it yourself, or lying about how intense the pain is. These people are selfish bastards who have never had a migraine and are incapable of empathy. That may seem harsh, but I’ve met a lot of them, and after a while they get to you.

I had severe chronic migraines as a teenager for 3 years. I’m not going into the details here, but in that time I met a lot of unbelievers, including one of my doctors (evil bastard). For a little over 2 of those years, no one could figure out why I was having so many long, severe migraines, so the doctors (not the one who diagnosed me originally), the psychiatrist the doctors sent me to, the school board, and various people I knew assumed that I was making it up because I was depressed (evil bastards – yes, I hold grudges).

Once I switched doctors and the wonderful people at the Michigan Head Pain and Neurological Institute (MHNI) figured out what had triggered the severe migraines, I spent the rest of that time on meds trying to get the migraines back under control so I could attend school and be a normal person again. (Incidentally, I was not clinically depressed – so take that you evil bastards). I don’t like to think about how different my life could have been had the doctors believed me when I was a teenager.

So now, I average a couple migraines a month, mostly mild to moderate and easily handled with meds. If I could just get my menstrual migraines under control, I’d be set.

I think the hardest part about having migraines is not the pain, but dealing with people who don’t believe you’re in pain, or that “it’s just a headache – take a Tylenol.” I could beat them in the head with a hammer, but somehow I don’t think that would work. My current doctor has migraines, which is a relief to me. I know that she understands.

Sometimes I wish I could go back and prevent that mess, and other times I’m grateful for the experience because it has played a large part in making me the woman I am (a woman I really like). But I don’t wish migraines on anyone, and if you have them, you have my sympathy.

So, if you think you have migraines, go see a doctor; keep track of what’s going on before you get the migraine to figure out your triggers; and check out MHNI’s website. They’re wonderful people. They saved my life.