I am officially committing to blog once a week. I can't seem to post more often than that right now and am tired of feeling guilty (for some insane reason) for not posting as often as Bitch Ph.D., Dr. Crazy, and the like. I'm also guiltified (like that?) at not posting insightful, or at least amusing, musings like the aforementioned bloggers (and all those other people on my blogroll that somehow have their shit together enough to think AND be funny). But I think I can get it together at least once a week. God help me if I can't.
On to boobs (I bet you thought the title of this post was just an attention grabber). Do you know what sucks about boobs? Buttons. Buttons suck. I can't wear ANY of my 16 button-up shirts. They are the bulk of my breast-covering teacher-wear (I can't bring myself to teach in a t-shirt). "Oh why can't you wear buttons?" you may ask. The buttons on every single one of my shirts are placed in such a way that there is no button at the widest part of my bosom, the result being that anyone standing to my left can see my bra. "Not a big deal," you may think. "You stand at the front of the classroom," you may logically reason. "Your students aren't looking at your breasts," you may naively assume. Yes, they are. At least, two specific young men are. But, even if they weren't, if I put my hands on my hips (something I do), or gesture wildly (something else I do) or write on the board (yet another thing I do), the strain on my shirt from moving my shoulders pulls at the buttons. They don't pop, but the window to my bra widens and is visible from the front.
"Buy a larger shirt, doofus," you may say. "Obviously you've gained weight, silly," you may exclaim. I admit to being heavier. I have gained weight. However, my size hasn't changed in any of my clothes. And I bought shirts that are one size too large--the sleeves are too long, I swim in the waist, and STILL my buttons don't keep my shirt together. I am not even a very large size!
Please tell me that someone else has this problem and that I'm not just insane. Please tell me that other female teachers worry about what they wear because they don't want to call attention to their sex in a classroom where it is clearly noted. Please tell me that I am not at fault for having breasts and that it is the aforementioned male students that need to change, not me. Please tell me where I can buy cheap, but flattering, short-sleeved knit or sweater tops (alas, there is no Target in Island State).
6 comments:
#1 The reason you have the button problem is because you are shorter than average, which means the button that should be at the wide part of your boobs is actually below the wide part. Which is also the same reason that non-A-line dresses or skirts don't fit me right. The hips of the dress are below my hips...anyway
#2 If you go to target online and guess at your size I can mail shirts to you. :)
- your loving and prego sis
I have this same problem, because my shoulders are wider than most women's, and I also have serious boobage. I found shirts that fit properly across my chest at Lands End and Talbots--will they ship to Hawai'i? If you are a size 12 or above, you might also try women's sizes (as opposed to misses sizes)--they also take into account breasts and have darts in the appropriate places.
Good luck, and happy shopping!
I recommend adding either a snap or a hook and eye between the two troubling buttons. They will add some reinforcement to hold your shirts together and they won't show in the front. These should be easy to find at any fabric store or craft store and perhaps even at your dry cleaners. For an added layer of defense, you could wear an undershirt under your button down shirts, then you can be certain that prying eyes won't see your bra.
What about a camisole?
You should come in one day, flash your students (for say, 20 seconds), and then put your shirt back on. Then, there would be no mystery as to what's beneath your shirt. They would have seen it all. And then it wouldn't matter anymore.
Do this once each semester and your problems are solved.
anon at 2/02/2007 6:00 AM--
Yeah, I started last semester by flashing my first class on the first day. My button wasn't completely buttoned, and when I moved my arms... Maybe I should try doing it on purpose next time.
Thank you for all of the good advice, everyone. This is the most comments I've gotten in a while. I'll have to remember the magic word.
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