Mariah Carey is Evil*

Why? Because teenage girls think they can sing like her. I don't particularly like her music, but enough other people do that someone, somewhere is always trying to scream/sing. On the bus, a girl (12? 13?) was singing along to some Mariah Carey song, loudly. This girl was trying to sing like MC, but she cannot. That did not stop her from trying though, nor did the glares from other passengers as she attempted MC's famous screaming-as-singing technique. I hate it when MC does that, but for someone who cannot sing, *shudder*.

I did not shoot the girl dirty looks, nor did I ask her to stop. None of the passengers did. There was an audible collective sigh of relief when she disembarked, but no one said a word. As much as I did not appreciate this girl's singing, I envy that she was able to do it when she so clearly sucked and everyone around her so clearly thought she sucked. It's been a long time since I was able to freely sing/dance just for the joy of it and not worry, or even consider, what others might think. I hope the girl sings badly, loudly for much longer (preferably not around me, but I'll deal).

The last time I remember being totally unselfconscious was in the 5th grade--an end of year, in-school dance. I was wearing a pink and light blue Hawaiian shirt tied at my midriff over a tank top. It was a "luau." My friends and I were dancing in a circle with one friend's mom to Billy Idol singing "Mony Mony." The boys were off somewhere else all together, but still within watching difference. But instead of trying to "look cute," we did the silliest dances, making it all up in the spot, naming them ridiculous things, and just laughing. It was so much fun. I can't remember being that unselfconscious ever again. Three months later, when 6th grade started, I looked back on that moment embarrassed. Now I just want to go back to it.

*Obviously I'm not talking about the actual living, breathing person named Mariah Carey. I don't know her and can't see that I ever will. I am talking about the function Mariah Carey serves in our society. While many "stars" serve this function, the Mariah-Carey-functional-persona is the one responsible for the aforementioned scene.