Dear Universe,

Please chill the fuck out this week so I can get some work done. I know it is the week of university meetings where I teach, and so it is likely that everyone I come in contact with will be arguing for something for the rest of the week. But what if they just chilled out instead? Huh, can we do that for me? Because I got proofs to finish reading, a prospectus to finish writing, syllabi to make, classes to get online, and a proposal to write this week in addition to all the fucking meetings. Maybe the proposal will go to next week. Fuck you proposal, you aren't as important. :P Oh crap, and next week I have to write a stupid progress report for a grant I received (basically, I have to write something up that says that I did indeed accomplish what I said I would accomplish. It's only a page, but it's a page-long hoop I don't have time for right now.) And I'm going to need universal help here because I'm supposed to start my period tomorrow, the first day of meetings, which means I'm gonna need some help chilling my own damn self out. So, Universe, if you can take care of everyone else, then I can chill myself out and get shit done. Otherwise, there will be tears, and I'll be damned if they will be mine.