See the pretty new trees? That's what boredom creates. Or maybe writer's block. One of the text books I use for writing classes has this section on writer's block and says something like you don't hear truck drivers saying I have trucker's block.* My students love it because, hells yeah, there's no such thing as accountant's block or Spanish block or chemist's block. So why do we have this term for not coming up with ideas when we want to? And it leads us to a nice discussion about fear and baggage and how you really should let go of that F you got on your third-grade book report because it has nothing to do with your abilities as a writer. And that bitchy teacher you had (because we have all had at least one teacher who was in the wrong profession and took it out on hir students) was wrong, and hir meanness was more about hir than about you anyway. Beside, most of your teachers were supportive and nice, weren't they? And so your first drafts were/are shitty; that's what first drafts are! That's why you don't turn them in! Embrace their shittiness and be free! And then we talk about revision and how much work writing is and how they put too much pressure on themselves and that it's okay to write garbage as long as you don't stop there.
I'm rambling.
The point is I did not make last week's deadline and I still haven't. Why? Well, a migraine for 5 out of the last 7 days is one reason. The other is that I can't think of anything to say. I open up the file and have no ideas. And I've written crap, so it's not a blank page. And I'm doing all of the exercises and tricks that we tell our students to do. But sometimes brains don't work. I'm sure part of the no thinking is the migraine and the meds, but the migraines are also an excuse. What I want to say about this text is really simple and straight-forward and I don't know how to make it interesting and go somewhere. I'll figure it out eventually, I know. But it's frustrating and I want to complain about it. And I'm angry that I'm stalled at this point because I so want to be DONE with this and move on to revising and finishing and graduating. And why can't I just figure this out? And being frustrated makes me so want to avoid this diss because I don't want to sit and write crap and stare at the screen and get frustrated. And if I were a truck driver and couldn't get the truck to start and didn't know how to fix it, I'd be really pissed too! And I'd call a mechanic. And I do have an appointment with my chair coming up but I have to have something to give her for her to be able to help me.
tl;dr Writing is hard. Being stuck sucks.
Look! Puppies.
*I'm at home. The book is at school, so I can't quote it. And while I'm pretty sure it's the one I use for developmental comp, I'm not positive, so I'm not giving a title either. And it might not be truck drivers either, but you get the point. I teach ALL COMP ALL THE TIME FOR 10 YEARS NOW, so it kinda all melds to together. I can look it up next week if anyone is interested though and give a proper citation.
3 comments:
I understand what you're going through. Yes, writing is really hard when you're stuck. I often do something radically different....go for a long walk (at least an hour), bake something, just have a long shower/bath or laze on your sofa and think about nothing.
Really cute puppies btw ;-)
This pic is on several blogs, so I have no idea where the original is from. But they are so cute, right? I wish they were mine. Except they might be wolves.
Very thoughhtful blog
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