Bus Letters

To the teenage girl on the bus who kept falling over:

If you can't stand up on the bus, perhaps you should end your cell phone conversation. Obviously you are not capable of both standing and talking on the phone at the same time. Perhaps the problem is that you only had one free hand, which you needed to hold onto the pole that keeps one from falling down on the bus. Might I suggest buying a bag large enough to hold your folder? I know that holding only one folder seems like the kind of thing a person could do while riding a bus, but obviously it posed a problem for you. Or perhaps you should hang up the phone, thus freeing your other non-pole-grasping hand for folder-holding duty. Perhaps the problem is that your short mini-skirt was so short that you found the need to keep letting go of the pole to tug it back down from whence it had ridden up. Might I suggest buying a skirt whose length you are comfortable wearing? Or perhaps you should hang up the phone, thus freeing your other non-pole-grasping hand for skirt-replacement duty. Perhaps the problem is that while you had a comfortable seat, you abandoned it when an old lady sat down next to you. Since no one else sat down in your relinquished seat, and you felt the need to continue talking on the phone causing you to fall into the man behind you at least four times in the following five minutes, might I suggest sitting back down? Or perhaps you should just hang up the phone as you are obviously incapable of doing something else, like standing on the bus, while talking on the phone.

I worked for 10 hours today.